Once upon a time, love meant shared dreams, morning kisses, and growing old together.
Now, it often means monthly allowances, whispered calls at night, and secret trips to Zanzibar, Maldives, Seychelles and so on.
What was once scandalous is now regular gist, the sugar daddy culture has left the shadows, side chicks are no longer shy, some even brag openly, wat once carried shame now carries style.
In Lagos, Abuja, and other states, girls in their 20s drive nice cars without a 9-to-5.
Married men in their 50s pay school fees, rent apartments, and buy designer bags for women who don’t bear their names. It’s not just happening, It’s everywhere. And it’s being normalized.
Love now competes with survival, for many young women, romance is not the goal stability is. “What can you offer?” isn’t just a question anymore, It’s a test.
If you don’t come with cash or connections, your relevance fades fast.
Social media has done its part too. On Instagram, luxury is love. A girl sees another with her own apartment, a Dubai stamp in her passport, and weekly spa dates. She wants that too and she doesn’t care what it costs.
Some say it’s empowerment, others say it’s exploitation in disguise. But here is where it gets deeper, some of these side chicks are married women themselves.
They play both sides caring wife at home, sponsored babe on the side. When asked why, their answers are brutally honest: “My husband is broke.” “He cheated first.” “I need to secure my future.”
Even among men, morality is now flexible. A man may love his wife dearly but fund a side affair without blinking.
Some argue it’s cultural, others say it’s just what men do. But what it’s doing to relationships is another matter entirely.
Homes are breaking, children are growing up confused, trust is now a luxury, People enter relationships expecting betrayal.
Faithfulness is treated like a miracle, there is also the health risk. Many of these arrangements involve no protection, no medical checkups, and no loyalty. STDs are spreading quietly, some don’t even know they are carriers.
And then there is the silent killer self-worth. Many women, years into this lifestyle, begin to feel hollow.
They start questioning their choices, was it worth it? The bags, the vacations, the rent was it worth losing themselves?
The worst part? No one seems shocked anymore.
But how did we get here? Some blame the economy, Jobs are scarce, and life is expensive. If someone offers to lift your burdens, why say no? Some blame upbringing.
When you grow up watching women survive by attaching themselves to powerful men, it begins to feel like strategy, not shame.
Others blame the internet it sells soft life, not the struggle behind it. Everyone wants to blow, but no one wants to build.
Still, there is hope, the first step is conversation, not the judgmental kind but real, honest talk about values, choices, and long-term consequences.
READ ALSO: Why do I need a Sugar Daddy?
Parents need to open up, schools must teach more than math teach self-respect, self-control, and financial wisdom.
Religious leaders must stop preaching fear and start offering guidance.
Financial education is also key, teach young people how to make their own money. Not everyone will be rich, but everyone can be independent.
And social media? It needs a reset, we need to stop glorifying wealth without work.
The girl who started a thrift store and grew it deserves more claps than the girl who got flown to the Maldives by a mystery man.
Also, we must begin to heal, many people fall into these cycles because of pain, neglect, or desperation. Therapy should no longer be taboo. A healed person makes better decisions.
So here is the final question: Are we building a society that values character or one that only chases cash?
Because if money becomes our only measure of worth, we will keep losing everything else that matters.
And the saddest part? we might not even notice when it’s all gone.
But we still have a choice, we can shift, slowly, clearly, together. And maybe, just maybe, we can find our way back to what truly matters.